The Spin-Doctor will see me now

Unusually, totally out-of-character, I have decided to put a positive spin on things.  In particular, these things, and, as Dermot always says, in no particular order:

• the shite wet, freezing, bastard miserable weather outside today is, I’ve seen reported, apparently the tail-end of Hurricane Jedward which hit the UK from Ireland last night.  And even though I’ve never know of an upside, Jedward-wards, this means that when the husband gets home he will be building us a fire of castles-at-Christmas proportions and we will slurp soup from our laps (and, in a bowl, obvs) in front of a Downton Abbey catch-up and flick synchronized birds at the inclement goings-on outside the snugness of our front room. And answer the door to no-one but the lady who delivers the news of a Lottery win.

• my NanNo word count is remaining at a rather unimpressive ZERO, or maybe just 2, counting the title. Because I needed to unburden myself of additional pressures this month and it actually does feel like a great weight has been lifted.  Therefore I will NOT be obsessing over how many Buddies-of-mine are haring towards the 50,000 word mark, nor will I be reading their impressive excerpts of literary creation and thrashing myself with a metaphorical birch twig at my own pathetic attempts at writing, and more pleasingly, I will NOT have another book that is half-written half-loved and half-baked.

worth enlarging, if you know what I mean

• the menopause is just another way of telling me I’m as normal as the rest of the female population who’re also ‘enjoying’ (see what I did there?) this condition.  It doesn’t mean that I’m a dried up, unproductive old prune who'll give up the root-retouches and hack her hair into a short-back-and sides to ease air circulation and reduce full-on-tropical hot flushes. Nor does it mean that I will be spending any more time scrutinising my upper lip and chin areas for unwanted hairgrowth than I already do.  It does mean, of course, that I shall be turning the central heating down a lot more and encouraging other house-users to wear more clothes.  If I’m going to ‘enjoy’ this metamorphosis then I don’t see why others shouldn’t enjoy it too.
• ...piggy-backing this period (did you... yep, I know, I didn't mean to insult your intelligence)  of transition, it also means that I don't have to spend a small fortune buying silly little panty liners, awkwardly-shaped internal sanitary devices,  ringing dates on the calendar and constantly wondering if I'm pre-menstrual or not - I was clearly born irritable. I will learn to embrace it.  No, I will. What? You want to make something of it?

• the so-termed ‘writer’s block’ is merely another way of giving me more time to spend doing proper, houseworky, housewifely things.  Like cooking.  Dusting.  Cleaning.  Cooking.  Dusting.  Cleaning. Nope…. This is one ‘thing’ that I honestly can’t put a positive spin on….

• Ah well, I had a go.