"I'm waiting for those Agents to get back to me" - what, so you're just going to sit about with your hands under your arse until one of them gives you the Nod are you? And what if neither of them get back to you this side of June, what then? Or what if they both get back to you and say 'NO' - are you just going to fling your arms up (from under the arse, obvs) and cave in or are you going to shift some butt RIGHT NOW and get on with your works-in-progress *snort* so that at least you actually HAVE something else to show them?
"It's too late. I'm too old for all of this, I should have started taking it seriously aged 26 instead of getting drunk and partying at every opportunity" - You had your first story published at 18 and an invitation from a magazine to discuss future commissions at 20... you blew it, kid. But you also KNEW it back then too. And actually what all that partying did was give you WAY more material to use for when you DID start taking it seriously. Remember that time you hit a guy so hard at a night club you sent him flying down three flights of stairs and you got banned for three months? THAT's what I'm talking about. Now write it!
"There's no space for me out there in publishing land. It's all been done before, by writers who have far more pizazz, nouce and spunk than I'm ever likely to have" Everyone has something different to say - maybe about the same thing but a different WAY of saying it, telling it. You're right, you're no different or more special than any of the other published writers Out There, but there's no other Debs Riccio that I can see (or Google) so why shouldn't there be a space? Isn't there space enough for everybody who has something to say?
"The stairs need hoovering, the family need feeding and there's beds to be made." Yeah, right.
"I don't believe in myself" That's more like it. This is fine. It's understandable. It's scary, freaky and it's not exactly the simplest of ambitions to pursue and succeed in, is it? It means a lot of dedication, hard work and discipline. Things that don't come easy to you - especially since God invented Facebook and Twitter and all other manner of distractions. These are tests of your mettle. And the confidence thing is universal. Show me an entertainer who doesn't doubt themselves at times and I'll show you a bit of a Fibber.
"But the hoovering....." See above, girl. Now just get on with it, you're starting to bore me now.