My cousin in Australia (John Child – check him out – he’s written books that have been published – okay they’re non fiction and pretty much concentrate on photography and lighting techniques and stuff, but he’s published! That’s gotta mean it’s in the blood, right?) has just shattered one of my most compelling family tree Factoids.
Ask anyone’s who’s had the pleasure of being in the same room as me when, say, Life on Earth has been on, or Our Living Planet – or anything David Attenborough-fronted and they will tell you that I will either leap from my seat and jump about ecstatically squealing “OMG – he’s one of my cousins! He is, he is, he is!” or else (depending on the assembled audience obviously) just point regally like it’s-just-such-old-news-now “David Attenborough is related to my Uncle Pete, y’know”. And invariably I’m met with the obvious ‘How?’ to which I always fan my hand and reply vaguely, “Oh, he’s the second cousin of my Uncle’s third cousin twice removed” (nobody ever hears the “probably” suffixed to the end of this explanation – because, alright then, so I DON’T know the precise familial attachments but give me a break – the man's a Legend – and I’m related to him!)
You don’t even want to be anywhere NEAR me if ‘The Great Escape’ is on at Christmas! (that’s where I get my acting talents from apparently).
My surprised co-viewers will then go on to remark about the very vague facial resemblances, especially around the eye/nose/chin areas. Ah, the fame, the glory… AND...the complete an utter fabrication of the whole thing – apparently!
Which has been in our family for like decades – at least 4 of them to my own knowledge!
Who started this rumour?
Whose strangely warped idea was it, within our family, that this myth should be perpetuated so brilliantly and passed down from generation to generation to entertain our friends during those dull TV viewing moments? Or perhaps this was JUST the reason.
I’m very wary about even opening up the whole Frank Lampard business. Hmm? Oh - he’s a distant cousin of mine, don’t y’know?