Many thanks for letting me see this. I really enjoyed reading it. You're obviously a good writer, and I think this story has lots of potential. But I also think that as it stands it has a few flaws. In the hope that you'll find it useful, I've jotted down some notes (attached) about what I felt wasn't working (and some of the things that did). They’re in no particular order…
I realise there are rather a lot of negative comments there, but I hope you'll understand that I wouldn't have written them if I didn't genuinely like your writing.
You may well not feel you want to tackle a rewrite of DOUBLE HISTORY, which I'd completely understand. But if you do, or if you're still looking for an agent when you finish HALF A WORLD, I'd be delighted to hear from you again.
With best wishes,
The Lovely Lovely Agent Person I sent the full Manuscript to 3 weeks ago.
I *heart* her.
See? I can write! She says so. So ne-er!