Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Home Sweet... Supermarket

You could be forgiven for thinking I actually live in Sainsbury’s. It’s a bit addictive.
And my Grand Design would have:
The living room down Aisle 9 (cushions and plasma screens- quick dash to Aisle 24 for some popcorn, Tortillas and dips perhaps),
The bedroom would be the Aisle of – not-white-Chocolate (hee!) and other sundry delicacies (maybe a quick sprint to the body sprays for added allure),
The Dining Room would be those lovely Take Out bags, not fussed on Chinese, Indian or Guadalajaraen (I made that up – don’t try pronouncing it).
My god I can even post a letter there.
And get cash out. And buy a family pack of knickers if I’m caught short.
And it’s about the only place I bump into friends. Just like being at home. I swear the cashiers know my Nectar card number off by heart. And they know more about my dress size, bathroom habits and taste in music than the Husband.
I always only ever pop in for a loaf of (Tiger – gorgeous) bread and some milk. But I can’t just leave it there. My list items are replete but I am not satisfied. I am hungry for more. The bestseller chart books beckon me for obvious reasons and there’s a special on Aloe Vera enriched toilet rolls. Oh. My. God. I could have the bottom-equivalent of a facial during every trip to the toilet. How glamorous is that? And they’re on special offer – which I know at the back of my mind merely means they are cheap right now and once they get you hooked on the things they will revert to full-blown ridiculous price but by then you can’t go back to the usual two-ply. They are posh-bog-roll pushers these Sainsbury’s people but you didn’t hear that from me.
And because I need neither of these wildly extravagant items, of course they come home with me.
But then so did the lovely hug I got from my friend and ex-next-door-neighbour Gill on the way in – most unexpected and a pure delight because even though I hardly ever see her, she is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and I hope we’ll stay friends forever.
Ah, that’s the Wonder of Sainsbury’s.
Or was that E-Bay?
No – perhaps it was Woolworth’s… but let’s save that for another day, eh?

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