Things I learned today

1. It takes at least 24 minutes before my brain will accept I have to open my eyes and move limbs.

2. The first cup of tea is the BEST cup of tea (and not just because I didn’t make it. Hang on, maybe it IS because I don’t make it).

3. Chris Evans’ voice is tinny and irritating if listened to from another room. But then the same could be said of anybody, perhaps.

4. I like working alone. I know where stuff is, I can do things my way and I don’t get annoyed with anybody not doing stuff MY WAY.

5. Janet Brown died. I never liked her impersonations but I’m sure she was a lovely lady.

6. The Beckham’s are expecting a girl baby but I don’t GET why Victoria can’t smile just ONCE for a photo. It’s not like she has to come home from work and wash up the breakfast things and spend the rest of her day wondering what she’d buy first if she had loads of money. Even SOME money.

7. Our flippin’ Prime Minister, David Cameron allegedly spent £68,000 of taxpayers money on refurbishing his flat at 11 Downing Street. The article in the Daily Mail actually hurt my heart and made me think (not for the first time today but still…) ‘what’s the bloody point?’.

8. My best writing friend in the world, one who constantly tries to keep my head above water and sent me a link about self-belief and creative confidence is on a hiding to nothing. I am thoroughly unhelp-able. Unassistable.?

9. I can teach myself pretty much anything so long as it is written down, in sentences of not more than 1.5 lines long and does not contain too many technicalities of the computerised kind. I password-protected our wireless network! I know!

10. The rare pockets of bliss and joy I feel last less than the time it takes me to realise I am undeserving of them and will be smote for enjoying even a millisecond of them. Don't ask me why, it's probably something to do with the way I was brought up and means I need therapy.