During this year's summer break I'm tricking my brain (*snort*) into believing that I have all manner of industrious things lined up for it... for example:
1. I shall be going through my wardrobe and drawers with a fine-toothed comb and eking out any disturbing items of clothing I may have lurking within - items that are, for instance:
a) too tight
b) too loud
c) too young
d) too old
Let somebody else enjoy them, I say! Someone skinnier, bolder, younger and older!
2. I shall be spending every dry-weather day in the garden plucking anything unruly or weedy-looking from it's roots and turning our frontage and backage into something that doesn't cause our neighbours undue consternation.
3. The skirting boards will be cleaned. (they are cleanable, right? And they are that long stretch of wood that goes all the way around the house at the bottom of each wall, right? Yeah, I thought so - just, y'know, checking).
4. The doorframes which I started painting last summer will be given a 2nd coat of gloss. I'm guessing I've allowed the first coat enough time to 'settle'. It's important to allow plenty of 'settleage' - I've heard it can be dangerous in certain circumstances.
5. I will visit a garden centre (and this means I will have to drive - which I still don't like to do - so even more bravery involved here) and purchase a couple of cheery and hardy-looking shrubs. Maybe even a nice bushy bush... something that doesn't mind being drenched in shade and cat pee for half a day at a time.
6. I will download some tunes. Can you tell I don't know what I'm talking about here? I have never downloaded a 'tune' in my life (are they still called tunes? Am I showing my age by not calling then a 'track' or a 'line' or something?) and I shall - apparently - have them on a nifty little memory stick which I'll be able to take in the car (*gulp*) and play randomly in the background - on mute - when I'm on the computer. Oh, technology I embrace you!
7. I will re-train myself to paint. I never learnt the finer art of watercolours at school before I flounced out of my A-level Art exam (for 'flounce', read: my Nan was in hospital dying and I couldn't concentrate) and I will teach myself how to use oils - something I've never done and which I never thought I'd be any good at if I tried. Who knows?
8. I shall smile a lot. In fact every day. I shall paint on the biggest, happiest smile I can manage whether I'm happy or not and my brain (lol) will be forced to believe it needs to follow suit - otherwise all kinds of space-time continuum bad-stuff could very well happen.
9. I shall cook 1 different dish a week for 6 weeks. Not only will this flex my scared-in-the-face-of-recipe adversity kitchen muscles, it will also surprise and delight both husband and daughter. Just so long as I don't muddle up spatula and paint palette and end up with omelette on my landscape.
10. If I convince my brain that this is my definitive list for the summer holidays then there is EVERY CHANCE I shall write a whole book instead. Cunning plan, eh?