Sunday, 18 October 2009
X-Factor Twins (prove the) Rule!
In a week where personal opinion is made public, I have decided to air my own.
Those zealously gelled X-Factor twins are on Hit-lists all over the show (see what I did there?) to be dragged kicking and screaming in a very inharmonious fashion, from the X-Factor stage.
Thing is they won’t be.
And why won’t they?
Quite aside from the fact that their continued presence there is a bit biased:
* by the whole of Ireland and Louis’ family calling in to vote,
* because if Simon WAS so dead set against their being finalists, then he’d have had the power to have overruled his team-mate,
* and, paramount, it retains enthusiastic viewing figures because the whole country tunes in hopeful of watching them be voted off,
like it or not, they actually DO have the X-Factor.
Which is precisely why they’ve been allowed to remain in thus far. Simon’s no air-head. He might be Botox-ed to the gills and have the hair-do of a Gorilla, bless him, but he’s not stupid. In fact I have the utmost respect for the guy (apart from the weird things he had at his 50th – which could have been his crisis-point or a cry for help). And everything he ever says (music-wise) I always wholeheartedly agree with.
‘Y’know,’ he said last night. ‘In a strange was it was like watching the Exorcist for the first time time… although you hate it, you just HAVE to watch it again.’
They are certainly an embarrassment to music lovers everywhere and if this was Britain’s Got Talent, they wouldn’t have got this far – because they haven’t. Got any talent.
But they DO have the X-Factor.
And what is this elusive factor called “X”?
The ability to humiliate oneself in front of cameras, whether unbeknown or engineered. These boys are either incredibly dense or incredibly clever. Either way they have managed to already make a name for themselves without having one talented cell in their combined bodies.
I didn't so much cringe last night at their pathetic attempts to sing whilst trying to remember their silly little 'moves', as applaud their bravado for giving it a go and making themselves look so foolish.
And they’ll get to the semi finals (I might eat my words after tonight’s voting of course, and I shall eat them with relish) because it will make great viewing. In much the same way as Chico was – and Same Difference. It’s cringe-worthy viewing and doesn’t the viewing public love to have a good squirm at the expense of somebody else?
Living Like Animals?
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Dating in the Dark?
Need I go On?
And whoever decided last night that on Diva Night they should be allowed to sing a Britney Spears ‘classic’ is just typical of the mentality of the X-Factor producers. If I am living in a world where Britney is already a Diva, then please stop the madness, I’d like to get off.
And have a pee. But then I’d get right back on again because it’s compulsively irritating.
And that’s what makes somebody somewhere an awful lot of money – oh, and the world go round, no?