I've just realised (although there's been a dawning of this coming on for a while, let me tell you) why God invented Retirement. Why Nature invented a General Slowing Down. Why Time needs so much of it to Work. Etcetera. An Epiphany? A great flash of inspiration? A sudden burst of hitherto untapped creativity?
I just got back from dropping The Girl off on her 'Sixth Form Shadow Day' and accidentally bumped into my reflection in the rear view mirror as I was unclipping my seatbelt.
See Jackie Stallone there?
So did I.
This is clearly what happens to a person who has spent the best part of their life trying to hold down a job of any description in the name of trying to keep a roof over their heads and something edible on the plate.
Of course, getting up, dressed and made up in the dark this morning could also have something to do with it but I'm sticking to blaming it on the ravages of Time and Tide. My overworked body is just getting to tired to cope with commonplace funtions best left to youth. It needs a rest.
And even whilst I adjusted my badly (embarrassingly badly) applied lipstick from 6 a.m. I almost convinced myself that NOBODY else saw how insanely it had been flung on earlier, especially not The Girl, her boyfriend, his brother, his sister and his parents. They wouldn't have seen anything at that hour, would they? In the bright lights of their kitchen. Surely not. After all, they live in the neighbouring village from Denial where I reside - it's probably in the water. And I'm hurtling towards the age where I just won't give a sh*t anyway. So, I'm in training.
Embarrassment - moi?