The Best Laid Plans

During this year's summer break I'm tricking my brain (*snort*) into believing that I have all manner of industrious things lined up for it... for example:

1.  I shall be going through my wardrobe and drawers with a fine-toothed comb and eking out any disturbing items of clothing I may have lurking within - items that are, for instance:
a) too tight
b) too loud
c) too young
d) too old
Let somebody else enjoy them, I say! Someone skinnier, bolder, younger and older!

2. I shall be spending every dry-weather day in the garden plucking anything unruly or weedy-looking from it's roots and turning our frontage and backage into something that doesn't cause our neighbours undue consternation.

3. The skirting boards will be cleaned.  (they are cleanable, right?  And they are that long stretch of wood that goes all the way around the house at the bottom of each wall, right?  Yeah, I thought so - just, y'know, checking).

4. The doorframes which I started painting last summer will be given a 2nd coat of gloss.  I'm guessing I've allowed the first coat enough time to 'settle'.  It's important to allow plenty of 'settleage' - I've heard it can be dangerous in certain circumstances.

5. I will visit a garden centre (and this means I will have to drive - which I still don't like to do - so even more bravery involved here) and purchase a couple of cheery and hardy-looking shrubs.  Maybe even a nice bushy bush... something that doesn't mind being drenched in shade and cat pee for half a day at a time.

6. I will download some tunes.  Can you tell I don't know what I'm talking about here? I have never downloaded a 'tune' in my life (are they still called tunes?  Am I showing my age by not calling then a 'track' or a 'line' or something?) and I shall - apparently - have them on a nifty little memory stick which I'll be able to take in the car (*gulp*) and play randomly in the background - on mute - when I'm on the computer. Oh, technology I embrace you!

7. I will re-train myself to paint.  I never learnt the finer art of watercolours at school before I flounced out of my A-level Art exam (for 'flounce', read: my Nan was in hospital dying and I couldn't concentrate) and I will teach myself how to use oils - something I've never done and which I never thought I'd be any good at if I tried.  Who knows?

8. I shall smile a lot.  In fact every day.  I shall paint on the biggest, happiest smile I can manage whether I'm happy or not and my brain (lol) will be forced to believe it needs to follow suit - otherwise all kinds of space-time continuum bad-stuff could very well happen.

9. I shall cook 1 different dish a week for 6 weeks.  Not only will this flex my scared-in-the-face-of-recipe adversity kitchen muscles, it will also surprise and delight both husband and daughter. Just so long as I don't muddle up spatula and paint palette and end up with omelette on my landscape.

10.  If I convince my brain that this is my definitive list for the summer holidays then there is EVERY CHANCE I shall write a whole book instead.  Cunning plan, eh?

Ten 'fresh' smells I love...

1. Freshly painted walls - esp. if they are green and gorgeous and mark the end of two days of hard slog.
2. Fresh bread (hardly original I know).
3. Fresh laundry (just noticed ALL the air fresheners in this house are called either 'linen' or 'cotton' or 'freshly washed clothes')
4. Freshly lain flooring - esp. if if is oak, heralds the end of hideous carpet stains including cat sick, dropped foodstuffs, red wine, blood and skid marks (don't ask) and means we can now start inviting people round for meals. Or even just 'round'.
5. Freshly cut grass. Heaven... for non-hayfever sufferers only I guess.
6. Fresh ideas for that new book.
7. Freshly bloomed Jasmine - incredible how such a tiny flower can have such a massive fragrance.
8. Freshly trimmed fringes. Don't know why - just like putting a new frame on an old master!
9. Freshly returned husband (from a day of fishing - so he's not going to 'smell' particularly fresh but the return is still great)
10.Freshly ironed clothes (sometimes I just stand and sniff the air whilst I'm ironing - takes me back to when I was little and my mum ironed - a comfort smell!)

How 'bout you?

Eight Things I Don't Like (can I sub-categorise? Well, I'm gonna!)

1. Bad manners. This includes:
a. Drivers who pull out in front of you as if you're driving an invisible car and then slow to enjoy the scenery.
b. Drivers who don't acknowledge thanks when you've stopped to let them past parked cars and/or out of a junction/wherever. How much does a 'thanks' cost again?
c. Drivers who don't care whose lives they endanger by holding a mobile phone to their ears whilst smoking with the other hand. (Begs the question what the F**k are they steering with?!)
d. Drivers who won't let you cross the road when there's nothing coming the other way simply because it's 8.12am and they know you're on a school run and therefore have no brain cells because you're an airhead mother who should be staying at home and baking muffins for her husband whilst home-tutoring the child who will NEVER get to school as long as it sits waiting in the goddam car for someone to let it out!
e. Drivers who park anywhere they like and escape the wrath of the Traffic Wardens (are they still called that or are they now something like prohibitive vehicle engineers?)
f. Drivers who park skewed over two spaces so that you have to drive another mile to find somewhere else.
g. Drivers who slam their doors into yours when they get back into their car simply because they have an old G-reg Skoda and know you live in fear of your husband thinking you simply cannot take the car out without bringing it home minus a bit more paint.
h. Drivers who escape running red lights/speed limits/other illegal traffic offences.
i. Drivers.
j. Oops... see a bit of a pattern emerging here...!

Eight Things...

Since a whole bunch of blogger pals are doing this, thought I'd have a wee think and pass on my own Eight Things, here's the first two categories:
Eight Things I Like:
1. Writing. And the time in which to do it justice.
2. Being a mother.
3. Being in love.
4. Reading (not the town - although I'm sure it's a lovely place)
5. Tea. Just keep it comin'!
6. A bargain - anything from a charity shop find to the Blue Cross Sale (although I'd never camp out - I like to 'stumble across' my bargains when I'm least expecting them).
7. Getting great ideas, from choice of wallpaper/recipe to the new book.
8. Belonging to an elite group of like-minded people who totally 'get' where I'm at (you know who you are!)

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Nagged. (Apparently) (see 3)
2. Whinged. (Allegedly) (see 4)
3. Did the Sainsbury's run (with hubby so the bill was doubled - just like taking a child!)
4. Backed up everything on the 'puter cos we're getting a new tower. (Am total technophobe therefore took hours longer than it realistically should have and I'm still sure I've lost major components of my life through my ineptitude).
5. Caught up on X-Factor and Eurovision Song contest (sad, I know) as we were at the cinema watching 'Angels & Demons' the night before (should have just stayed home in hindsight).
6. Made a toad in the hole (Sunday lunches just ain't what they used to be!)
7. Made packed lunches for hubby and Mini-me for today.
8. Hoovered upstairs (whole house at a time? I am NOT Anthea Turner)

More eight things coming when I can't think of anything else to post!

Last 15 of my 25 Random Things

11. I am allergic to alcohol.

12. I am terrible at keeping in touch with friends and admire those that do. (Can you tell this is a veiled apology?!)

13. Mr East, my Primary school teacher, inspired me to become a writer. He was so encouraging of my writing that I wrote constantly from nine. (That’s age – not o’clock).

14. New York doesn’t beckon me, neither does Sydney Opera House. I don’t have a Wanderlust bone in my body.

15. Christmas dinner is my favourite meal and I could eat it all the time.

16. I'm quite hard work at times but believe it's worth the effort!

17. I dreamed of my husband repeatedly before we even met (seriously).

18. Celery is the spawn of the devil.

19. So are Radishes (who thought those doozies up?!)

20. Procrastination was invented with me in mind.

21. Laughter really is the best medicine.

22. I hate bad grammar and poor spelling. There should be a Law.

23. I see faces in almost everything. Curtains, trees, floor tiles, duvet covers... you name it...

24. Maths makes my heart race - in a bad way.

25. I hardly ever tell anyone my real age because I don't want them to think that I'm retarded - intellectually. (By now I should know the Capital of Peru, surely?!) (OMG – Peru is a country, right?!) (SEE!!!)

25 Random Things - Part I

Can you tell I can't think of anything deep and meaningful to post?!

1. When I was 10 I tried to get rid of my freckles by scouring them with lemon juice and vinegar. I woke up with the pillow stuck to my face. And I stank.

2. My first crush was on Thomas O'Malley (O'Malley The Alleycat from "The Aristocats"). Obviously I've moved on since then. Husband is neither cartoon nor feline. Though he is deliciously cheeky and slinky and… ok, ok… so it set a precedent!

3. My favourite pair of knickers were ripped off on a badly constructed park slide when I was 8. I was more mortified having to go back up to retrieve them before walking home with them in my pocket.

4. I hate bad drivers. Which is everyone on the road apart from me. My dad taught me that.

5. I miss my dad every day.

6. I always wanted a Gay best friend – and then my best friend came out!

7. Hoovering is just another excuse not to write. So is dusting. And washing-up.

8. I like ironing. (Note: I didn't use the *love* word).

9. My favourite colour is teal because it's a mixture of blue and green and I can't choose from either of those.

10. Making decisions is not one of my strengths. I don't think, anyway.

Part II coming soon!
Oooh I bet you can hardly wait, eh?!!!